“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”
Matthew 7:24-27
In his best-selling book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, Steven Covey identifies a foundational principle essential to effective interaction with others:
“Seek first to understand, then be understood.”
At first glance, such a principle – which Covey encourages us to make a habit – seems obvious. But then we must ask ourselves why we struggle to practice this principle. I would suggest an accurate, honest assessment of how we really respond may include:
As someone makes their position known, make sure you’re formulating your rebuttal, so they don’t gain the upper hand in the discussion.
In other words, we don’t listen well – hence Covey’s principle. He challenges us to consider, practice, and thereby establish this listening habit in our everyday experiences. Covey is proposing that if we become more effective listeners, we will become more effective leaders, develop deeper relationships, and make greater impacts. An honest assessment of our listening deficiency finds root cause in our necessary preoccupation with ourselves. We are more interested in promoting our own understanding than we are taking in the opinions and insights which another might have to offer. Now clearly this is not universally the case. In some instances, we are excellent listeners. But there is a necessary qualification around these “excellent listener” instances. We have decided to enter the conversation because we have an expressed desire to learn.
A college student, Josh, aspiring to be an engineer must master the discipline of mathematics. Calculus, for example, is understood as a fundamental building block in his education. He, along with his classmates, willingly submit to the pedagogical experience, listening with intentionality to the professor’s instruction as a means to the end. On the way to the University union for lunch after class, Josh encounters a crowd of students shouting at a man sharing his conviction that Christ is the only way to heaven. The emotion surrounding the discussion was rapidly escalating – no one was willing to give the man an opportunity to answer questions. After listening for a while, Josh steps back reflecting on the very different attitudes he observed in the two listening/learning opportunities? Unlike his Calculus professor, the man of faith was not recognized as one with authority to be proclaiming such thoughts as if they were truth. On what basis was he justified in presenting such views the crowd perceived to be quite intolerant? The counterarguments, condemnations, and sarcastic phrases shouted in disgust abounded. They were not interested in listening to such foolishness. Josh, being a follower of Jesus, knew the truth was indeed being proclaimed but the hearts of those in attendance were not receptive to ideas so counter to their thinking. They chose not to listen, rather to seek first to declare their position.
In a similar fashion 2000 years ago there was another man who shared the truth statement that there was only one way to the Father – this teacher even performed miracles in their midst. Yet they shouted him down unwilling to first listen and learn as their hearts were not open. “Crucify Him”, they shouted.
In our study, Jesus declared to those in his hearing to listen carefully to His teaching. “He who hears these words of mine…” Clearly the expectation for us is not just a casual reading of what was said, but a penetrating consideration of how His words impact our lives. But are we willing to submit to the divine “Professor” knowing that these lessons are fundamental building blocks in our life house? He speaks the truth with authority because He is the very definition of truth. But oh, the tendency to ignore the teaching, to fail to commit the study time necessary to master the lessons, and even to talk negatively of the Professor not caring for his messages. Some have even decided not to attend, having already decided to drop the class. But rest assured examination day is coming!
At the outset, it seems clear our attitude will be significantly influenced by our opinion of this teacher which brings us to a major “fork in the road” or a decision point. Who is this guy that claims to be the Son of God? Consider the alternatives in answering this question:
- Jesus was a bit mentally disturbed to make such an outlandish claim and should be promptly ignored
or - He was obviously a good moral teacher with important points regarding life and living , but “I don’t know about the God thing”
or - Jesus was exactly who He claimed to be
If you’re running on point (1), you probably aren’t going to read much further if you even made it this far. Points (2) and (3) would probably be sufficient to keep you reading because at a minimum you’re looking to pick up some life points that might help you be a better person.
Where are you in your life house project? I make no assumptions. We have recently had a number of high profile “Christians” decide they actually aren’t Christians after all. I guess there must be some acknowledgement that they were honest enough to publicly admit their new denial of the Christian faith. However, I am concerned that there are many who continue to profess an allegiance to Christ, but in their heart, there is no possession. In some cases, the people know they are maintaining a spiritual façade, but the cost of an honest admission is too high. For others, they don’t realize the disconnect between profession of the mouth and possession of the heart. All is well in our work for Jesus. As Jesus closed out the sermon on the mount, these conditions were the very things He was addressing, and they come with great warning. We are faced with the situation in which we have a divine “Professor” who on the first day of class has a message that he proposes is significant, relevant, and challenging. He does so from a strong position of authority. As the expert, He is challenging us to listen to what He has to say. Examine your “listening-ness” factor. We may already be ready for a big debate, our arguments organized in order of impact, and we are looking forward to refuting what will be stated. But of course, we have also stopped listening before we even start.
Whether you realize it or not, you are a builder. You are building a life house in this world, making decisions, creating opportunities, proactively gathering materials, and laying a foundation upon which the structure of your life house will stand. Storms will come, stressing your construction – that is a given. Jesus is asking you to evaluate your foundation which affects life both in this world and for all eternity. It would be prudent to listen and consider what Jesus has to say. Upon what is your life house being built? Let’s keep learning.
Reflection
- I’m going to be really honest right up front. Way too often, I flunk Covey’s principle. I am so busy forming my answer that I have completely stopped listening. And what is the root cause? Pride is my vicious enemy! How are you doing with this important element of listening?
- Taking this to the next step, when I do listen am I listening to learn like the math class or am I busy interjecting my own wisdom in a mild or major shouting match? Who is the expert, the authority, the source of wise counsel?
- The scary consequence of this admission is how much time we invest in our own wisdom. I would challenge you to look back at your heart response to Reflection 1 – “Therefore”. Are we teachable or defensive? Are we approaching this learning opportunity with openness, or have we allowed “Self” back on the throne of our lives?
- Through this self-assessment, we will see clear signs of the Garden of Eden rebellion still resident in our hearts. If we consider this carefully, the truth will emerge that poor listening skills are merely the symptom of the problem. I admitted pride as my root cause (one of the root causes). Simply working on being a better listener by being intentional is certainly one approach but I will submit is not the right approach. Dealing with those character issues of pride, selfishness, impatience, arrogance, etc. are where we should focus our attention. What do you think is the best means of addressing these character issues?
- It has been my experience that trying harder even with a spiritual approach is not the solution. We are indwelt by the Holy Spirit who is at work molding and shaping our character. Calling upon Him to move in our hearts, enabling a Christ-like attitude of the soul is pivotal in seeing a change in our character. Obviously, this goes way beyond just listening to the full suite of the Fruit of the Spirit. Read through Galatians 5:22-23.
Recommended Reading | “They Found the Secret” by V. Raymond Edman
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